Coping with Separation and Divorce

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Oh no, i don't believe it! What am i gonna do? My life is over! Why are you doing this to me? No one is ever going to love you? I only married you to have somebody to do and you weren't that good? Coping with separation and divorce is at this point is like waking up not being able to move anything but your eyes.

These are some of the things you have felt and that have been said to you. you had your mind set on being married the rest of your life and out of no where you feel like you are being thrown away and betrayed. On one hand you feel like your heart has been ripped out of your chest literally or this is an ever increasing rage building up on the inside, unknown to those around you.

There is a tidal wave of emotions that come crashing inside of you taking you back and forth between hopelessness and rage as you do your best to cope with the news that you are being cast to the side. Sometimes it seems like the easiest way to deal or cope with separation and divorce is to give up.

It doesn't matter if it is separation or divorce, life is not over. The video below can makes the point better than i can...

Emotionally Abducted Relationships

Emotional abduction is the forceful kidnapping of one’s emotions. Just from this phrase some would say that they have never heard of it. This phrase came to mind while watching the Dr. Phil show on 2/4/11 on which they were discussing how a man’s children were abducted by their mother. When think of the multiple dimensions of the human being, we realize that these children were physically, mentally and emotionally abducted.
How many of you reading this have been hurt in some way in a previous relationship and as a result of that pain decided that you would not allow yourself to be hurt in that way again? Or that you will never allow yourself to be hurt again? In the moment you made this decision, you have emotionally abducted yourself and everyone you have a relationship with after that point.
Life is made up of relationships, and whatever relationship we have experienced pain and made the above decision for the sake of self-preservation is the basis of our fear in relationships. Whatever that relationship is dating, courting, engaged, marriage, friends, work, church, etc.
If we have reached a point of divorce, separation or dissolution in a relationship, the question is: “How much of it had to do with my fears?” It is our avoidance of being hurt again that lead to the development of our fears. It will take us confronting our fears in order to have any chance of having a healthy relationship. In an era of finger pointing, there is a clarion call for introspection. The root of divorce is internal and at some point we have projected our fears onto another, which justifies our pointing our finger at them. The problem is that until we confront ourselves this problem will plague every relationship we are in because we are the common factor.
Ask yourself this question, “Has this problem been in more than one relationship?” If so, then what is common between those relationships - you. It is our fears that creates questions within ourself about all parts of our self worth, identity, value, etc. We begin an avalanche of comparing our self to others and our true self becomes emotionally abducted.
“Every man stamps his own value upon himself, and we are great or little according to our own will” by Samuel Smiles.

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